 Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1813 ) |
日期：2007/03/14 00:03
留言者：富貴花
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1814 ) |
日期：2007/03/15 14:06
留言者：小奀子
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佢只係做 o左人地老婆呢個職位八年, 已經有咁多嘮叨, 妳地做 o左斷估唔止八年......... 
一個老婆的八年心得
1.結婚前要看準產品的特性，不是看他的相貌權勢地位，而是性情。萬一沒看準，也不能輕易退貨，需要你自己在生活的過程中不斷清洗，擦拭，修理。
2.不要相信“情人眼裡出西施”的話，而要相信“老婆永遠是別人的好”，這是亙古不變的名言，別妄想在你身上出現奇跡。
3.不要以為你給他生了孩子，你們的婚姻就更穩固了，那是他厭倦煩瑣家庭生活的開始。
4.別再回想戀愛的時候他信誓旦旦地說一定拿你當公主捧著的話。你要明白，你的崗位是保姆、廚娘。你的工作除了做飯照顧孩子拖地板，還有洗不完的臭襪子。
5.別埋怨他永遠記不住你穿的衣服鞋子的尺寸和號碼。如果他買的尺寸肥了你就說是你瘦了，尺寸小了你就說自己胖了，實在不行就說服裝廠貼錯了號碼。
6.永遠別在他的同事和朋友面前讓他下不來台，哪怕你恨的咬牙切齒，也要笑的面如桃花，小鳥依人。
7.當他心情鬱悶的時候，你千萬別試圖讓他用語言表達出來。有些話男人不想說，而更喜歡肢體語言，你只需給他一個溫柔的擁抱或無言的親吻，甚至，一次瘋狂。
8.適度的依戀。男人喜歡你適當的依賴他，以滿足他大男人的虛榮，別試圖你自己什麼事情都要比他優秀比他有能力，也許他佩服你怕你，但，不喜歡你。又不能過度的依賴，他不會喜歡一輩子帶著一個長不大的拖油瓶。戀他如父，愛他如子，尊他如兄，親他如弟。
9.千萬別問他：“你還愛我嗎？”這樣的話，他會把你送到瘋人院。
10.不要把怨氣帶到床上，千萬不要試圖在床上懲罰男人。
11.不要在他清醒的時候跟他打架，你打不過他。實在氣憤，就趁他睡的正香的時候照著他皮厚的地方狠狠掐一把！就算他被掐疼了也只會翻個身接著睡，萬一醒了，你可以裝的若無其事。N分鐘以後，此動作重復一次。直到你解氣為止。
12.不要把家庭當成你的整個世界。當你只顧節儉操勞而變成黃臉婆的時候，那個男人只會厭倦，感激永遠不能成為愛情。家裡的世界很無奈，外面的世界很精彩。
13.一定要有自己的愛好，個性和尊嚴。有你自己的精神空間，當他不在的時候，你也自得其樂，生活的豐富多採。
14.不要試圖在現實中找異性知己，除非你不在乎老公的醋性大發暴跳如雷，也不在乎世俗的眼光。想傾訴的話，來網絡裡。
15.不要上網一直到深夜，除非你老公深夜不歸。否則他會揪住你耳朵拎你小辮子，甚至切斷電源拔掉網線。
16.不要妄想網上那個懂你的男人一定比你老公好，而心血來潮真的想嫁給他，他會嚇跑。即使不跑，一旦走向現實，女人變成了蚊子血，男人成了飯粒漬。重復又一輪的平淡和厭倦。網絡裡的情感既然是邊緣情感，就讓它存在于網絡的邊緣，而不能鳩佔雀巢越俎代庖。
17.不要試圖象我這樣寫心得，即使浮沉，你也平心靜氣，巋然安然，該幹嘛幹嘛。 |
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1815 ) |
日期：2007/03/18 13:03
留言者：麻瓜朱
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小奀子﹐好o野﹐真係叻仔﹐咁都俾你摷到出唻﹐重咁精彩添
不過咁﹐呢位女仕真係聰明﹐好聰明添  |
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1816 ) |
日期：2007/03/18 14:16
留言者：老三
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1817 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 00:50
留言者：鞍山戌利
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小奀子
不要上網一直到深夜，除非奀太  。否則他會揪住你耳朵拎你小辮子，甚至切斷電源拔掉網線。
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1818 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 17:41
留言者：小奀子
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豬豬, 咁耐無見.......... 
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 鞍山 戌 利 橫戌, 點戍, 戊 中空............明帽?
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1819 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 15:09
留言者：天竺葵
電郵：geranium_chan@yahoo.com.hk
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我開始有d懷疑, 小奀子是個女的..........................
唔係點會寫女人心情, 寫得咁淋漓淋致 |
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1820 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 15:53
留言者：qq仔
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唔怪得佢有豬尾啦！  |
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1821 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 17:44
留言者：小奀子
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1822 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 18:04
留言者：天竺葵
電郵：geranium_chan@yahoo.com.hk
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小奀子乖乖地，唔好喊！
西Ｃ姨姨呵番............
其實貓同花貓都係貓，有乜分別，只要係好貓咪得囉！
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1823 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 21:46
留言者：小奀子
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無分別..........?
妳試下當妳地 d 花貓洗緊手嘅時候,
有隻貓唔覺意撞咗入尼, 睇下妳地 d 花貓會點?
返唔返得出去真係好大問題,
就算返得出尼, 小奀子睇怕都唔多認............. |
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1824 ) |
日期：2007/03/19 23:48
留言者：v
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小奀子,
如果你入錯洗手間, 我响度尼..我一定諗到辦法救你架~ 我會幫你五分鍾變身, 好似咁..
滿意嗎? 咁你咪可以全身而退囉~  |
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1825 ) |
日期：2007/03/29 15:13
留言者：小奀子
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1826 ) |
日期：2007/03/29 23:04
留言者：沙灘茂利
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| Re: 奀二爺的夢囈 ( No.1827 ) |
日期：2007/04/02 11:36
留言者：小奀子
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唔好心急, 逐條逐條睇, 答 o左先睇埋下面.............如估唔係就唔好挽架喇...... 
"Test for Dementia"
"It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test."
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we
grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you
lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of
intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The
spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.
OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else.
Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.
2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk." What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't
Attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even
overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such
as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.
3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from
blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is
made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why
are you still reading these???
If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.
4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over
Germany (If you will recall,Germany at the time was politically divided into
West Germany and East Germany.) Anyway, during the flight, TWO engines fail.
The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides
on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can
do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land"
between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors?
East Germany, West Germany, or no man's land"?
Answer: You don't bury survivors.
If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said,
"You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.
5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to
Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus; In Reading, six
people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get
off and four get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In
Swansea, three people get off and five people get on In Carmathen, six
people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was
the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.
PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
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奀二爺的夢囈
